


you don't find the way - the way finds you

by sherlocked10097



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AU where Jim's alive, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Reichenbach, Sheriarty - Freeform, mormor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-21 23:56:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13751871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlocked10097/pseuds/sherlocked10097
Summary: Everyone involved has wrongs to make right. But how?





	you don't find the way - the way finds you

It had become a ritual, the first morning cigarette with black coffee taken in the garden. Nothing was growing this time of year, the sun struggling to peek through the clouds and he could see his breath without the addition of smoke, but the view of Monte Morello was welcome tranquility. Jim, ever the late riser, wouldn't be awake for at least a couple hours, which gave Sebastian time to sort his own thoughts out, figure out what to do with this particular day of all his newfound free time.

Maybe they'd go sight-seeing. Or a long scenic drive on his lonesome, if Jim was otherwise occupied or uninterested in leaving the rental villa; in that case even a hike could be nice. Sebastian had been too idle as of late - too indulgent, as well, when it came to fine Tuscan cuisine - and he was afraid it was beginning to show around his midsection.

But on the other hand...he wasn't sure about leaving Jim alone for too long.

It wasn't that the boss was incapable of entertaining himself. Since The Fall he'd disengaged from the network with little mess or care, as being dead had a surefire way of making the phone stop ringing. Sebastian's phone rang plenty in comparison, and it was better for many reasons that he was the one to field the frantic calls. But without the work, it was a rare period of rest. For the most part, for now, that suited them both fine.

Jim was beginning dive headlong back into the astronomical researches he'd loved when he'd had the time for them. He'd always published under an alias, thankfully, and academics of all sorts could easily remain hermits, so it wouldn't much matter that the world knew his face. But when he'd dropped reading, writing, making calculations for the day, when he lacked sufficient distraction or didn't count Sebastian's company as such, well...

Last night had been a prime example.

Sherlock's Fall, Jim's Big Plan, Sebastian had figured these might put a stop to his worries. He'd even thought maybe they would cheer Jim up. Oh, no doubt there was more to Jim's approach to Sherlock than villainy and victory, Sebastian had always sensed that, but...alright, he hadn't known what he'd thought. Perhaps he'd just _hoped_ the end of the ruthless games would lighten Jim up.

He'd certainly made light of it himself. Before leaving London he'd scooped up a copy of damn near every paper that had covered the detective's suicide. Probably a gloating, dick move to frame one and make it the first decoration on the villa's walls, but Jim hadn't complained any. Had even smirked as Sebastian put it up, and there it hung for weeks without comment or much attention.

Still, Sebastian couldn't say it _surprised_ him to find Jim staring at it last night. Seemed inevitable, the boss standing still in the mostly empty hallway, tea in hand, head tilted, expression unreadable from the distance of the living room (but likely no clearer had Sebastian been closer.) Just staring, contemplative, thinking God only knew what about it. And as if he'd felt Sebastian noticing from the living room sofa, after a time he sipped his tea, shook his head and walked away, back to his makeshift study, not to emerge again until well after Seb had fallen asleep.

It really had only been a matter of time, Sebastian knew. Not to call it an experiment upon Jim, per se. More of...a gauge. Who could say what it meant, or how many times Jim had stood there before, and for how long?

But, Christ. Here he was taking the time usually allotted to build his own day in his head, and his thoughts revolved around Jim's worrisome fascination.

Which was easier and more normal than focusing on the new, secret fears.

That since they needn't be attached at the hip for professional reasons, maybe Jim would tire of him.

Or that Jim would discover the secret that Sebastian was keeping. Or that he was keeping one at all. If _that_ day ever came, he was well and truly ruined.

It all made Sebastian jumpy, mentally if not in outward expression. He didn't like that much. Tended to spoil a nice, indefinite holiday in Sesto. Hell, maybe _he_ needed a new hobby, as actively fretting over Jim had lost some relevance.

A mountainside hike couldn't help any of that, he knew, but was a good option if Jim wanted nothing to do with him that day. _And why should he?_ , the gloomy thought pushed in as he tossed the cigarette away. Deep down, Sebastian felt about as useful lately as a fart in a spacesuit, not sure of his place in the scheme of things when there was no real scheme on.

 _He hasn't given me marching orders yet_ , though, Sebastian reminded himself. They were for all intents and purposes in it together, whatever It was nowadays. And Jim, while still the surly little bastard he's always been, was less demanding as there were no jobs to harp on about. Sebastian could hardly recall the last time the boss had screamed blue murder in his direction, and thus should have been able to relax in this pleasant little garden, and look forward to savoring nature as he had from time to time along the Vindhya Range. And maybe Jim would wake up in a fine mood, no matter what brand of morose it had been before he'd fallen asleep.

Stranger things had happened.

He'd be hard-pressed to name them, surely, but it had to be true all the same.


End file.
